Testing literally everything.
January 24 
September 9 
August 4 
Ginormo Sword is by no means a good game, but I still spent a few hours transfixed by its siren call of RPG minimalism just the same (while on the clock, naturally).
I’m a big fan of RPGs, the actionier and loot pornier the better, and Ginormo Sword is the genre stripped down to its most minimal essence. “Here are some numbers,” it says, “they represent you. Go; make them higher.”
There’s something inherently compelling about leveling up, raising your stats and finding that perfect piece of equipment. There’s a reason people shell out a monthly fee for the right to grind away in their same-y fantasy MMORPG of choice, filling imaginary bars. This shit is fun, yo.
So Meta It Hurts: Ginormo Sword [Rock Paper Shotgun]
August 3 
Check out Giant Bomb‘s 1-hour long video of the end of the world above, and if you find yourself with an extra five hours of your life to waste, you could do worse than skimming through the other videos of Giant Bomb’s time spent with the game. It all starts out very silly and funny and ends up being genuinely sincere and depressing before the end.
August 2 
Q: What do Max Payne 2 and Mass Effect have in common?
Replaying Mass Effect as superbitch Renegade Jane Shepard, cutting a bloody path across the galaxy with her lesbian death squad, I’m reminded of the same issue I encountered when trying to play through Max Payne 2 (The Fall of Max Payne) a few months back: Deaths tend to be especially frustrating, potentially costing you multiple hours of progress.
Yes, Max Payne 2 is five years old, but neither game has any excuse. Both were released in the glorious, post-Halo world of modern gaming. So why am I spending time fumbling around with the save system when all I wanna do is play the damned game?
This is the part where I try to maintain the site with some degree of regularity. Later, the site sits dormant with some dumbass post or another rotting on the front page for six months. I’m not sure if this is one of those “vicious cycles” we hear so much about or not, but its definitely a cycle, no fun for anyone, and starting again right here and now.
In my attempt to get this site up and functioning again, I accidentally wiped out the last year and a half of content. No big loss, really, but I’ve managed to recover it all through some Google wizardry and may or may not bother re-posting and backdating the whole mess.
The site will probably continue to exist in a half-complete purgatory state for a while as I decide what the hell to do with this/eventually lose interest.
So. The future. Look forward to it?
April 9 
The coolest thing I’ve seen all day? Last night’s episode of Lost. And boy, what an episode it was:
As Lost winds down its penultimate season, it’s becoming increasingly clear that we will get all the Big Answers to the Big Questions, even if we don’t necessarily want them. For me, Lost has always been an extremely fun, character-driven drama with an obscene attention to continuity and a flare for outlandish mythology.
A large part of the fun is finding the hidden clues buried in still frames and reading through the crazy but always slightly plausible theories fans cook up. If everything wraps up neatly and no room for the interpretation, I’m going to be sorely disappointed, and fear it may end up like so many epics shrouded in mystery that end up revealing too much of their hand (see: The Matrix, 2001, and The Dark Tower).
If the island ends up being a crashed Egyptian spaceship, I’m so not buying the Blu-Ray box set.
March 30 
Kojima? Kojima?! Kojimaaaaaaaaaa!
Mega64: MGS4 (with surprise guests) [NeoGAF]
March 22 
My 10-minute commute is 91.6% more awesome than my old two hour commute, but it also means I spend my free time upping my Gamerscore and making fart sounds in Ventrilo rather than reading a book a week. Ah well, let’s reflect on what was.
Dispatches by Michael Herr
Mash: A Novel About Three Army Doctors by Richard Hooker
The Brief Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz
The Yiddish Policemen’s Union by Michael Chabon
The Boy Detective Fails by Joe Meno
How the Hula Girl Sings by Joe Meno
Hairstyles of the Damned by Joe Meno
Previously on The DORK Club:
March 21 
EverQuest is now ten years old, and regardless of your opinions on the game itself, it’s hard not to respect SOE’s genre-defining behemoth. And it seems like EQ only just reached level nine. They grow up so fast!
To celebrate, Sony put together the above video filled with interesting EverQuest facts. Who knew that the world of Norrath was home to 3.5 tons worth of rats, or that there are still over 3,000 items still waiting for players to discover?
Even more interesting is Massively’s EverQuest Turns Ten feature, which includes lists of the 10 things some members of the EverQuest team wish they had known before building an MMO. Specifically, a programmer, another programmer, and an artist.
Cue “this is the coolest thing you’ve seen all month?!” comments.