I would like to make a public apology to Thor Antrim, whom I dreamed I was on a road trip with last night. We were having a wonderful time, I’m sure, quite lovely, but when we stayed over at somebody’s house to escape the weather, I’m afraid I did a terrible thing to him.

I abandoned him for a threesome with a pair of gorgeous women. This, in and of itself, would be forgivable, but my error becomes clear when I relate to you the part that transformed this from a strange, Freudian dream to a Freudian nightmare: as it turns out, they weren’t quite women.

AAAAAAAAAAH!!! ~claws out his own brain.~

I also have a copy of Zelda.

The sun just came up.

I really, really love spring break.

(Shootme is of course referring to the real damn sun, not the game one.)

I have nothing remotely interesting to say. Trust me, this is the third update I’ve written tonight, and each turns out even more disappointing than the last. If that’s not talent, I don’t know what is. Actual talent, maybe?

Also, the Warcraft 3 replay backlog has recently passed the “intolerably embarrassing” point. Assuming I get myself in gear, expect to see an enormous addition to the Warcraft 3 replays before the week’s end. Also, steak.

The Wind Waker arrived Tuesday morning. I intended to have impressions online Tuesday evening. Here they are, on Saturday morning. I think that speaks volumes.

Graphically, Wind Waker is peerless. Characters are alive and vibrant, beautifully animated with a sense of realism never before seen in a piece of interactive media. Grass gently sways in the wind. The sea changes color with the passage of time, the setting sun casting the mass of water to a deep red, while the full moon gives way to pale oceans of gray. Everything is simply gorgeous. To think that anybody will pass up this game because of its “kiddie” graphical style is sickening.

The game plays as well as it looks. Large, complex, dungeons filled with giant bosses and mind-bending puzzles lie scattered across an absolutely massive sea. However, they are not the only attraction and, unlike in Ocarina of Time, the game’s many “diversions” are actually entertaining. Over fifty islands and other floating points of interest wait to be discovered, explored, and experienced. On land there are hidden caves, filled with danger, waiting to be fully probed. At sea, giant monsters dwell deep below the surface, guarding great treasures, and lying in wait for anybody foolish enough to venture near.

Perhaps the most shocking aspect of the game is the fact that it sports actual continuity. The game makes direct references to Ocarina of Time at numerous points throughout storyline (so far). Some familiar faces even turn up from time to time, further highlighting the fact that Wind Waker is a sequel to its N64 brethren. Anybody expecting the mandatory princess kidnapping (by a pig demon) to be Wind Waker’s only ties to previous Zelda games will be pleasantly surprised.

The Wind Waker, to put it simply, rocks. I’ve spent nearly five days blindly bouncing around the gameworld and I feel as though I’ve barely scratched the surface.

empty apartment,
roomies gone — fridge can’t talk back.
paint my room yellow.

(vector_black haiku club)

I just had the worst Deja Vu. I was looking at the monitor, and had the sudden experience of knowing that I had seen all this before. I looked away to my little brothers. I had heard what they were saying before. I looked to the TV: Seen that too.

So I shook my head, trying to clear it.

But I had done that before, as well.

I hate it when that happens.

Reasons why I should have my own cruise missile launcher:

1. If I locate a “terrorist” base of operations, I can quickly destroy it from standoff range.

2.

3.

4.

I can’t really think of any good reasons why. I would probably just misuse it, anyways.

(vector_black rocketry club)

And:

1. fish flakes

2. dried bonito

3. a mushroom

(vector_black furikake club)

Whenever I post something I want to stay up top for a while, the staff here is obliged to scroll it into oblivioin. On the other hand, if I’m embarrassed to have bothered, they make sure it gets top billing for as long as possible.

You suck, DORK Club, and that makes me sad.

My dog has a great strategy to get you to throw a ball for him to do the fetching of: He drops it on your crotch. Then he looks you in the eye. He’s laughing at you, now. You KNOW he will grab that ball between his powerful jaws, any second now. He looks up at you. He looks down at your crotch. He looks back up, and grins.

And you know what you do?

At this point, buddy, you throw that ball.

You know, regardless of whether you believe we ought to be in this war or not, I think one good thing has come of it.

Everywhere I go online, I see people expressing absolute horror at every single detail of the war. It has not, despite what common sense might suggest, always been like this. Sure, there are plenty of people who are still callous. But not as many as last time. Not nearly as many as the time before that.

Many protestors and nay-sayers are focusing more on the morally reprehensible behavior that is killing, ignoring political arguments all-together for something more basic and perhaps ultimately impractical.

Agree with it, disagree with it, whatever. Both sides are beginning to understand, to some small extent, the horror of what is happening in Iraq right now. Forget the politics of it–I find that easy enough to do–people are dying. Whether that is necessary or not is up to you. But the fact that it is really, extremely scary is something I think that more and more of us will agree on.

Unfortunately, I forgot how to make this post funny. So now I’ll give you a nonsensical punchline, and you have to make up a setup for it that is amusing:

“So I says to Mabel, I says, no man is an island. So ask not whom the bell tolls for, Mabel. It tolls for thee.”