Time for a brief sanity break…

Perhaps some of you have noticed the DORK club’s peculiar transformation from a gaming fanboy’s everything/nothing blog into a strange, surrealist fiction factory. If you have, then it falls to me to interject some gibberish of my own.

And so I present to you… the death of all bananas.

The gist of the article is that, through generations of selective breeding, all yellow grocery store bananas are of the Cavendish variety — sterile, genetically identical, and vulnerable to every pathogen nature can throw at it. Fun, no? Well, nature’s come up with a good one, this time: the Black Sikatoka fungus. Apparently destroying banana plants at an alarming pace, the fungus’ spread is projected to eliminate the world’s stock of Cavendish banana plants within the next ten years.

It sounds suspiciously to me like an evil genius’s plot come to fruition.       …If the United Nations fails to pay me 10 miiiilion dollars into my numbered Swiss account, I shall… destroy… the world’s… banana supply!

Bwahahahahahaha!

(vector_black bwahahahahaha! recipe)