Speaking of colors, Windows XP, aside from being infinitely more stable than Windows 98 (and a full order of magnitude less warm and fluffy than MacOS), includes the option to customize not only the colors of windows and buttons, but those of the start menu as well. Imagine my surprise when the color schemes of both the start menu and the windows both matched those of dorkclub.com right out of the box. Please keep all “800×600 ur n00b lol” comments to yourself.

This is the time of year when every gaming site decides which games are lucky enough to get “Game of the Year” stamped across the back of their boxes (and GameSpy continues to serve as the sworn defender of Dues Ex: Invisible War. Honestly, have you played that thing. The first one was enjoyable, like System Shock minus fun, but this sequel is the most cumbersomely designed, graphically unimpressive disaster of a game I’ve seen in a great while. Well, I guess it’s not that bad, certainly better than any of these games, but still garbage nonetheless. I guess Warren Spector finally got his Batman & Robin (Schwarzenegger reference). I think it’s about time I joined in on the fun. By producing my own Games of the Year list, not by getting my own Batman & Robin (Schwarzenegger reference). Parenthetical references and random asides sure makes everything I type near illegible. I had originally intended on drawing this (that list thing) out over five days, carefully detailing what makes each game so uniquely enjoyable. Then I realized nobody wants that, least of all me. So, instead here’s my picks for the top five games of the year with absolutely no qualifying statements attached. Enjoy:

5. Beyond Good & Evil
4. Wario Ware, Inc: Mega Microgame$
3. Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic
2. F-Zero GX
1. Marathon (trilogy)

The way I see it, “game of the year” counts any game or games I played for the first time this year. Playing bits and pieces of Marathon 1 and 2 nearly a decade ago on LeadPipe’s Mac doesn’t count. If this really upsets you, and I can’t see why it would, then consider Halo (PC/Mac) this year’s winner by association.

Yeah, that was stupid, but I’ll have a much more interesting GAMING YEAR IN REVIEW LOL OMFG! update on the 31st. I can promise that because it’s already done. Also: I’ll have some shiny new content tomorrow which I had no hand in creating. Me.

Merry Christmas to all you poor souls bored enough on Christmas day to visit this website. And read though that mess. You do Jesus proud.