Friday’s raid was, far and away, the most successful raid event (raid event, he typed) this guild has ever had.

We met up with members from fellow Horde guild Nephilim at Grom’gol before heading out to Duskwood to lay waste to any and all Alliance unfortunate enough to cross our path.

However, no more than ten seconds passed after leaving the gate before our complete lack of organization reared its ugly head and the very same group which had once so pristinely posed for a screenshot mere moments before was scattered across the zone. Chaos continued to reign as I tried to help lower level characters through the jungles of Strangelthorn, others waited at Nesingwary’s encampment, and still others charged ahead to whatever that Alliance town in Duskwood is called. After some hectic yelling and screaming, we finally regrouped outside town and proceeded with our raid.

Five minutes later it was over.

I get the feeling some Alliance players on Tichondrius must know about this site’s existence, because there sure were a lot level 60 Alliance in Duskwood than had a right to be there. Included among them was a certain level 60 Night Elf priest who likes to show up at all of The DORK Club’s raids. We frantically fought the best we could (and I learned how to jump on top of a building), but in the end we were out-manned and out-leveled, having no choice but to retreat to lick our wounds.

We quickly decided to switch gears and continents and head to Ashenvale to attack Astranaar instead. Our group split up and we made our way to Splintertree Post individually, gathering a few new recruits along the way and losing a few others. Eventually we were all mounted and ready to ride in Ashenvale with enough time to spare to pose for yet another screenshot.

We then lined up in our Convoy O’ Death formation, set our characters to walkand slowly made our way across Ashenvale. The confused scurrying of any Alliance within spitting distance and the tendency for Horde players to stop, stare, and ask just what the hell was going on was more than worth painfully slow movement speed.

Eventually we made it to lovely Astranaar and then proceeded to kill every player, guard, and NPC in the city, including the deadly flight master. Bored with the burning remains of the night elf town and drunk with power, our group continued raping and pillaging our way through Darkshore toward the crown jewel old gym sock of the Alliance: Auberdine. We proved quite the opponent for the sleepy town, decimating two-thirds of it before deciding to board the boat from Auberdine and take our fight all the way to the night elf home land of Teldrassil. Unfortunately, as some of us began making our way towards the docks a ship pulled up and unloaded a fresh batch of high level Alliance recruits who, with some help from the newly respawned guards, proceeded to brutally kick our asses.

Many resurrections and lost causes later, the tattered remains of our raid group stormed Astranaar for yet a second time. Once again we decimated the city, though this time the Alliance was prepared, as a few high level characters, including one particularly deadly level 60 rogue, put up quite a fight. We caused as much chaos as possible before the same bunch of players who had ruined our fun in Auberdine arived in Astranaar, pushing us from the city completely.

All told, we spent two and half hours making life a little more difficult for the Alliance and had a hell of a lot of fun doing it. Next week our aim will be Teldrassil itself and the large number of freshly created night elf characters it harbors. Maybe I’ll even take some decent screenshots.

In news in no way related to any of the aforementioned news, this here Sin City trailer rocks it in the oldest, most schoolest sense of rocking it.